Skin Deep
by freakqueen
Summary: In which Keira learns Jak's not the only one who had a rough two years.


Skin deep

I don't own Jak and Daxter. Trust me, if I did, you'd know.

….

It was taking everything Keira Hagi had not to break down laughing.

She stood there in her garage, eyes wide and watering while biting down on her lip, the occasional snicker escaping her throat. She was trying really, she was, but the sight before her was too much.

Standing just in front of her was the dynamic duo she'd known since childhood, covered in… _something_. The substance was a semi-transparent, glittering, light aqua ooze that appeared to be sticky and goopy at the same time. The gunk had managed to coat the whole top half of Jak's body and the entirety of Daxter's body.

Both had matching expressions of annoyance, a percentage of which was directed at the mechanic.

"So help me Keira, you laugh you die" Daxter threatened. "I know how to use these" he held up a goo dripping hand gesturing to the hidden claws.

Desperately trying to calm herself, Keira wiped away the tears and cleared her throat. It did little to help. "H-how, how did this happen?" she asked still trying not to break down.

"Don't ask" was Jaks only responds.

Giving one last half suppressed giggle, Keira finally got her laughter quiet. "S-sorry really" she said holding up her hands in defence "did the mission go well at least?"

"More or less" Jak answered flatly "we were successful if that's what you mean."

"If you can call this successful" the ottsel mumbled while trying to whip the goop off with little results. The mechanic smiled at the duo sympathetically. Obviously the mission had not been an easy one, and her laughing was most likely not helping no matter how hilarious it was.

"Would you guys like to clean up before heading back to the underground?" she asked.

"It's kinda why we came" Jak admitted.

"Precursors knows tattoo wonder and the old green fart will never let us hear the end of it if we show up like this" Daxter added.

Keira glared at the ottsel, unhappy with the comment about her father. "Don't give me that" he snapped noticing her look, with a sigh she motioned with her hand for them to follow.

"You're lucky I've got an emergency shower here."

"Why would a garage need a shower?" Jak asked in confusion.

"Not sure it was here when I got hired" she said with a shrug "I think it's for after races."

"If they smell anything like Jak after a race I can buy tha-OW!" Daxter rubbed the side of his head where Jak had smacked him, giving his best friend a glare which he chose to ignore.

Keira gave a small grin, never a dull moment with these two.

…

KNOCK KNOCK

"Jak you doing ok in there?" Keira asked. She stood outside of the door leading to the showers, clean towels in hand.

She strained a bit in order to hear a response over the running water and through the door. After about a minute she got a reply of "yeah, I'm good." Smiling she opened the door slightly and poked her arm through.

"I've got some towels for when you're finished, ok?" she felt around a bit before finding the wall hook.

"Thanks" he said as she closed the door and left with the other towel to the back room. Upon entering she was quick to spot Daxter bathing in a recently cleaned wash tub, goggles set aside to be cleaned by hand afterwards.

She had refused entry to the shower for the ottsel. 'My boss will kill me if I get animal hair in the showers' she'd scolded when he'd protested before eventually sulking off.

Keira shook her head at the memory, why did he always have to make things harder than necessary?

With a sigh, she made her way over to the tub and knelt down. "How's it going in here?" She asked causing Daxter to turn to her with a blank look.

"Is that a joke?" came his rather snarky reply. She was about to snap back when she noticed just how much of the goop was still clinging to his fur and cringed.

"I'm guessing fur's a little harder to clean" she mumbled sympathetically.

"It can be a bitch" he confirmed as he scrubbed one of his arms roughly, teeth gritted.

Keira rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to laugh again. "Here let me help you" she offered picking up a scrub brush.

"Oh! Uh no, no that's ok I can handle it" Daxter said holding up his hands with a nervous grin. Keira arched her brow, maybe it was her imagination but there was something resembling panic in his voice and eyes.

"I'll be gentle" she reassured him.

"Yeah I know I just don't want to put you out, I mean" he gestured to himself "I've been at it a long time and only made _this_ much progress it'd just take up your time."

Keira stared at him in confusion. A thought suddenly occurred to her and she grin teasingly "oh I get it you'd rather have a certain blond ottsel scrubbing you down" she said coyly.

Daxter's face scrunched up and became noticeably redder. "I would be lying if I said no" he mumbled looking down.

Keira chuckled slightly, despite her teasing she really was happy for the two. Tess was a nice, if slightly weird, girl and she and Daxter were weirdly perfect for each other. Plus, after all the teasing she and Jak had endured from the red head, she wasn't about to pass up the opportunity. "Come on, stop being stubborn and let me help."

Daxter looked back up at her. "I appreciate the offer but seriously I don't need help." Keira frowned, she was getting a bit frustrated with him now, why was he giving her such a hard time?

Was he worried Tess would get upset? Tess wasn't the jealous type and she knew they weren't interested in each other.

Was he worried about Jak? Again he knew there was nothing there so what was it?

Did he just not…trust her?

That thought actually upset her more then she thought it would.

"Dax" she almost never called him that, it was usually Jak's nickname for him. "Jak is almost done and you guys need to report back to the underground or you'll get in trouble, let me help so you'll get done faster and be out sooner" she tried to be patient, hoping to get through to him with logic as unlikely as that sounded.

Daxter seemed to ignore her as he scrubbed but never broke eye contact. "Plus, I do need you guys gone before the racers get here, so you'd be doing _me_ a favor really" she tried again.

He continued to stare for several moments before finally giving a sigh. "Fine" he huffed "just be gentle, really gentle."

Feeling victorious, Keira smiled and picked up a scrub brush, "I'll be gentle" she repeated reassuringly. Daxter just mumbled under his breath and kept focused on his scrubbing. Keira just rolled her eyes, if he wanted to be stubborn and give her attitude fine by her. She won and he wasn't ruining that.

They sat in silence for the most part as they worked to get the gunk out of the ottsel fur "geez, this stuffs really in there." She was really trying to be gentle but she was also trying to get him clean. She was actually impressed Daxter had gotten out as much as he had, but then again, he was probably used to cleaning his fur by now.

Still there was no denying that her added help was making a difference. Already she could see an improvement in how quickly the stuff was coming off now that there were two of them, they were practically done after a few minutes.

After Keira was finishing up his ear, she began working on a chunk of the ooze clinging to his left shoulder. It was the last large cluster and the ottsel hadn't seemed to notice it, being too preoccupied with his foot. He probably wouldn't been able to reach it anyway.

Luckily the spot was pretty damp by this point, so it was fairly loose and easy to get out. It only took her a few minutes to scrub the reaming area clean.

Checking to make there was none left, she smiled in satisfaction. Keira was about to inform Daxter when something caught her eye. Because of how damp his fur was, it was easier to part thus reviling the skin underneath more, it was only a small bit but she noticed it looked…off.

Keira raised a brow in confusion. It didn't look like a recent injury or even a scab from an older one so what was it? Glancing at the ottsel to make sure he was still preoccupied; she began gently brushing the damp fur aside with the scrub brush hoping to uncover whatever she was looking at.

Once she had however, her eyes widened in shock and her jaw fell open.

A scar.

She found herself staring at a scar.

It was a long one. Starting at his collar bone then going over his shoulder, ending at the base of his shoulder blade in a smooth, curved line. The shades of bright pink combined with red suggested it was a relatively fresher wound just beginning to heal enough to fade. It didn't look too thick thankfully but it still looked reasonably wide. It was the kind of wound she was now used to finding on Jak but not Daxter, never Daxter.

Keira continued to stare at the offending mark on her friend's body, a feeling of horror crippling her from speaking or looking away. She was trying desperately to figure out when and how this could have happened. She knew it wasn't from Sandover, she'd known Daxter since she was three and nothing had happened during their time back home that would have been responsible for such a scar. Besides it looked too fresh.

The only explanation was that it'd happened recently, something in the time they'd been here had caused this, but what and when? She couldn't think of anything that had happened since reuniting with them that could have caused this.

It couldn't have been during the fight with Kor, she'd seen all the damage that battle had caused to them both and a shoulder injury wasn't on the list of the ottsels wounds. She also knew it wasn't from the Kras city fiasco, again she'd been there and knew of every injury the duo sustained.

Maybe it happened in Spargus? They'd only told her so much about their time there so far so it wasn't too far off, but if that was the case wouldn't Jak have said something? The mechanic doubted he would have been able to keep his concern for their friends' safety and well-being a secret if he'd been hurt this badly. Still it was the only explanation she could come up with, the only way she'd know for sure, she realized, was to ask the ottsel herself.

Taking a deep breath, Keira steadied her voice and looked back at Daxter. He seemed to be inspecting himself to make sure there was none of the stuff left.

"Uhh Daxter."

"Hmm."

"What's this?" Even with them not facing each other, she could tell his brow arched at her question.

"You're gonna have to be way more specific."

The mechanic bit her lip hard and gently pressed her finger on the source of her current worries "this."

Almost instantly Daxter froze. His body went rigid and the scrub brush he'd been using fell from his hand into the water. Keira cringed slightly, worried by his reaction. The wound looked old enough that she was sure it shouldn't still cause him pain, now she was even more concerned.

The two sat there in silence for a good several minutes. Keira continued chewing on her lip anxiously, not liking the lack of response from the usually chatty ottsel.

"Dax-"

"It's nothing."

She looked at him in surprise. She had not been expecting that response and especially not such in a harsh tone. Was there a chance he didn't know about it? It _was_ on his back but then why would he react the way he did?

"Wh-what?" honestly there was so much going on at the moment it was the only response she could come up with.

"I said its nothing, you didn't see anything got it?" he spared a glance at her, looking more serious then she'd ever known him to be. Keira stared at him like he'd lost his mind, which as far as she was concerned right now was not far from true.

She didn't know why he was behaving like this, but she wasn't going to let it fly. "Are you kidding me Daxter?! There's a huge scar on your-"

"Will you keep your freaking voice down!" Suddenly Daxter was completely facing her with a fierce glare that actually startled her. "There's nothing to talk about because you saw nothing" his eyes narrowed as they practically bore into hers "it's. nothing."

For a moment she just looked at him trying to process this new piece to the puzzle. What did he care if she yelled at him? Given the circumstances she felt she had every right to yell.

Suddenly a thought occurred to her, an awful one.

"Jak doesn't know does he?"

Daxter didn't answer, just looked away while still trying to keep his glare.

"Does he?!"

"…I plan on keeping it that way" he finally muttered.

Keira's mind went completely blank, she tried to say something but found herself speechless. She really couldn't believe what she was hearing. Jak and Daxter rarely kept anything from each other, heck Daxter knew more about Jaks time in prison then any of them, so why wouldn't Jak know about this? Why would Daxter hide this?

"How can he not know about this Daxter? Why would you even keep this from?" she had to know, had to fill in the puzzle.

"Well fur is a pretty good hiding place and it's not like Jaks ever gone looking."

That wasn't an answer and they both knew it but she ignored it for now. "But how could you have hidden this? How did this even happen?" Daxter continued to avoid her gaze, looking uncomfortable. She noticed him bringing a hand up to clutch the shoulder that was the current source of commotion.

It looked like he was either debating on telling her or how to start if he did. Until he finally gave a defeated sigh "it was a bobyoty" he said quietly. "Cornered me in an ally in between the city and forest, tried to make me its next meal. I got away obviously but not before its claw left a parting gift" the grip on his shoulder tightened.

Keira looked at him sympathetically and a little horrified. She'd come across a couple of bobyoties herself, they were mean little things, she couldn't imagine how terrified Daxter must have been. "Where was Jak when this happen?" it was all she could think to say at the moment as she tried not to picture the confrontation the ottsel was describing.

"He wasn't there." This somehow did and didn't explain how Jak wouldn't have known.

Still shaken, Keria couldn't help but snap "how could he not be there?! Where was he?!" He finally looked at her, the glare from before back in full force.

"In that precursor forsaken prison getting tortured Keira! _**Happy?!**_"

And just like that, the final piece of the puzzle was in place.

Keira's expression melted into shock once again with vague hints of shame. Those two years, those two years between all of them coming here and meeting up again. Those two years they were all separated.

Those two years Jak was in prison and Daxter was trying to get him out, alone. That was where the scar came from.

How had that not occurred to her?

"I-I didn't even think..."

She trailed off when Daxter gave a sigh and brought a hand to his face. "See I knew this would happen, this is why I didn't want your help. I knew you'd find one of them if you did-"

Wait, what?

"One of them?" Now it was Daxter's turn to look shocked, his face taking on a caught-in-the-headlights look. "There are more?"

"Uhh for-forget I said anything." Despite her shock Keira face hardened. She was not going to let this go or back down, she wanted answers and she was going to get them.

"No I'm not going to forget, I want to know everything right now!" She did her best to sound as authoritative as possible, tried not to let on to him just how much he was scaring her right now with this new information. Judging from the downcast look he was giving her it was working. He was finally willing to cooperate.

Taking a breath, the mechanic prepared herself for whatever occurred next and gave her small friend a look of determination and sympathy. "Do you have more secret scars?" he was quite for a few seconds, still refusing to meet her eye, but then gave a nod.

"Are they all from those first two years?" Another nod.

It was getting harder to stay in control, but she persevered "how many?" Daxter bit his lip.

"…Five, including my shoulder." Keira felt herself stiffing at this, but tried not to show it less it discourage the ottsel from sharing more.

"Show me."

Now it was Daxter's turn to look at her like she was nuts. Keira was aware of how she must have looked, she could fell herself begin to shake despite how stiff she was, and it was starting to get difficult to keep looking serious, but she was not backing down. She needed to do this.

And she got the feeling Daxter did too. "I want to see them, and I want to know what caused them."

Daxter stared at her reluctantly, he was clearly thinking against this. "Keira I don't think-"

"Daxter please" he looked at her again, almost pleading her to change her mind but he knew her too well. He knew once she set her mind on something you had a better chance taking on dark Jak then making her change it. There was no getting out of this.

"Just don't tell Jak?"

"We'll see." Daxter sighed, knowing that was as good as he was going to get. He inhaled deeply and, getting out of the tub and sitting down in front of her, lifted his right leg and brushed away the fur on his ankle exposing a new scar. It was thicker than the shoulder one, a little redder too and almost formed a ring around his ankle except it was restricted to the sides. The front and the back were thankfully spared.

"Got my leg caught in one of those animal traps that snaps shut around your foot. It was hidden under some leaves, some old lady freed me while mumbling about barbarians and animal cruelty."

Keira bit her lip to keep quite. She'd really hoped the shoulder one was the worst but apparently that had been wishful thinking.

He then moved further up his leg till he was at his thigh. This one looked more like the first but thinner and not as long which was a relief. It curved slightly around his outer thigh going from top to bottom. "A street vender caught me stealing food from his stand and threw a bottle at me." He explained "it broke and some of the glass got lodged in, not too deeply but it was still a bitch getting out."

Getting out? So Daxter was forced to…

Keira had to sucked in a breath to stop herself from finishing that thought and prevent the mental image that accompanied it. Less it discourage the ottsel from continuing.

For a moment he looked like he was considering stopping. However, he knew if he did she'd just pester him latter. Beside he only had two more, might as well see to the end.

He moved over to his left cheek which, thankfully, was the least offending one so far. A smaller much fainter mark only a few inches long. It was almost a relief to see such a simple scar but it was a scar no less so the relief was short lived. "This was the first. A few months after getting here me and about a dozen people got caught in a shoot-out between the krimzon guards and some thugs, a bullet grazed me as I was running." He gave a week chuckle "I didn't even notice till I was hiding that I was bleeding, adrenalin or something."

That didn't actually surprise her. When she'd first gotten here, she had been caught off guard by the amount of violence between the citizens and those that were supposed to protect them. Back in Sandover all you had to worry about were lurkers and wild animals, rarely your own neighbor. She'd been caught in the midst of a few gun battles herself but to her knowledge they left no physical mark on her.

Just as he was about to move to the final one, Daxter paused biting his lip with his hands hovering in the air. He couldn't be chickening out now could he? There was only one more.

"Maybe I shouldn't-"

"Daxter." He flinched and looked up at her weekly "I said all of them." Holding her gaze for a bit longer, he reluctantly gave in and brought his hands down to his left side and brushed the fur away.

Up till this point Kiera had done fairly well in keeping a straight face, but this time she was unable to stop herself from gasping.

It was huge.

Ok maybe that was a bit generous but it was definitely the biggest. At least twice the size of the one on his shoulder. The scar took up a good portion of Daxter's left side, just above his hip and below his rib. The scar began at the edge of his stomach and ended at the edge of his back. It looked deep too, though she couldn't be sure how deep. It also looked redder, clearly it was taking the longest to heal.

Almost subconsciously, Keira brought her hand to her mouth. Wide eyes starting to sting with a familiar dampness, it was getting harder to keep it together.

With a deep breath, Daxter steadied himself and spoke. "It was winter. I was climbing up a building, trying to find…something" he looked down for a moment.

"Something?" Keira whispered.

"Food, shelter, warmth, a way to find Jak" gently, he traced his fingers along the surface of the mark. "I grabbed onto a bar but it was coated in ice, so I lost my grip and fell onto a pile of scrap metal… something cut me. Not sure what but it was sharp."

Before she could stop herself, tears began to spill from her eyes. A sob hitched in the back of her throat as she tried to convince herself this had been for the best, she knew in her heart it was but it was hard to believe that at the moment. She brushed away the tears as Daxter smoothed out his fur once again hiding the offending marks. He didn't look at her just whipped his own eyes as he looked down tiredly.

Keira had to take a moment to steady her voice and even then, it came out almost a whisper. "Is that all of them?"

He nodded wrapping the towel she'd brought around himself. "Yeah as far as I know anyway, if there's more I swear I didn't know." She believed him, while not as good as Jak she was pretty good at knowing when he was lying, and he was being honest with her.

She was trying so hard to keep it together but it wasn't working. Everything he'd told her was just too horrible, and she couldn't stop herself from envisioning all the scenarios he'd described. The very notion that the ottsel had endured all of that alone broke her heart.

That's when another thought popped into her head. "Are they healing properly?"

"Huh?"

"Your scars, are they healing properly?"

Daxter blinked in surprise, he hadn't expected that. "I-I think so, I cleaned and bandaged them as best I could with what I could get ahold of." He scratched the back of his neck "I don't remember having any problems."

Well that was a relief. "You didn't use green eco?"

He chuckled humorously "I did when I could find it, in case you haven't noticed eco, especially green, is pretty impossible to come by in this precursor forsaken city. I mean when I split my side open it's not like I didn't stager around desperately looking for the stuff till I passed out from the pain."

He was trying to lighten the mood, but instantly shut up when he saw the look of horror on Keira's face and looked down huddling into himself. "S-sorry." The look didn't leave her face and soon a fresh wave of tears began falling from her eyes.

"But you did find some eventually right?"

He gave a sad nod "three days later, it wasn't much but it was better than none." Somehow that didn't make her feel better.

"And Jak doesn't know about any of them?"

He shook his head "nope."

Keira bit her lip. "Dose anyone?"

"Just Tess and Osmo, they found them by accident like you."

"Only them?"

"Only them and now you." Keira sniffed and whipped away some stray tears.

"Why?"

He looked back up at the mechanic. "Why what?"

"Why are they the only ones who know?" She felt the fire from earlier return along with newfound frustration. "Why am I just learning about this now? Why haven't you said anything?" She was practically in his face as she asked the most important question of all "why doesn't Jak know?!"

Daxter backed up a bit before matching her glare. "When exactly would this have come up in a conversation? It's not really something that can be brought up causally!"

Keira cringed, he did have a point. "Ok fair enough but still why try to hide it at all? What's the point of that?"

"What would I have to gain telling any of you? Really what difference would it make? None, so why bother?" This was getting nowhere, she needed a different approach.

"What I mean is we're a team that means you can tell us anything, don't you trust us?"

The look he gave her could only be described as a cross between rage and disbelief. "_We're_ a team?" He gave a sarcastic chuckle. "No no no, _you're _part of the team, _Jaks _part of the team, _I'm_ Jaks worthless tag-along pet!"

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Your part of the team-"

"No Keira not according to everyone else. Not according to your dad, to Ashelin, to Pecker, and sure as hell not according to Torn!" He counted them off on his fingers as he closed the gap between them. "In fact, if I did tell them I'm almost positive that they'd be disappointed that after all that I'm still alive!"

"That's why I didn't bother telling anyone Keira, **NOBODY WOULD CARE!**"

Daxter arched forward, his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. He'd gotten more heated then intended, and found himself feeling like he'd just run a marathon. What should have been a relief just left him feeling nauseous.

It was honestly more then he'd ever wanted anyone to know, even Jak.

He didn't want to face her now. It was bad enough she'd seen his scars but now this? Why was he spilling his gust out to her like this? He just kept his eyes on his feet as he ran a hand over his face. "I…" he took a breath "I-I-I shouldn't have gone off like that, I-I shouldn't have said anything."

Up to now Keira had been staring at him surprised and hurt by the outburst, but it had now been replaced with a look of sympathy. "You don't really think that do you?" She asked quietly.

Hesitantly, he looked back up at her biting his lip "I don't know Keira" he admitted. "I-I know Jak, Tess, and Sig care but the others? I honestly don't know anymore."

"Osmo and Ximon care about you" she pointed out.

"Osmo and Ximon aren't part of the old underground so they don't really count."

Keira wanted to argue that he was wrong, or at least reassure him, but she found she couldn't come up with anything. Had they really all been _that_ hard on him?

Had _she_ been that hard on him?

"I care about you" she whispered "you know that right?"

He shrugged "sometimes I do, but there are times wonder." Unfortunately she found she couldn't really blame him that much.

"We were never as close with each other growing up as we were with Jak." She admitted rubbing her arm "but that doesn't mean I don't care about you, do you think I would have gotten so upset if I didn't?"

She was relived to be given a small smile from the ottsel "no you wouldn't."

She smiled back "I do care about Daxter, don't ever doubt that okay?"

Daxter gave a chuckle, and this time it was a genuine one. "Okay."

This made her feel a little better. There was sadly nothing she could do about the rest of their teammates, but at least he believed she cared about him so it was a start. However, there was one thing that still bothered her and needed answering.

"Why are you hiding this from Jak?"

Daxter's grin faded slightly as he gave a tired sigh "you're not going to let up on that are you?" She arched her brow, looking at him blankly "right of course not, alright you win."

She smirked "I always do."

"Heh, yeah you do."

Although the air around them felt a little more relaxed then it had when the conversation started, there was still a lingering sense of tension that the mechanic hoped would not return in full.

He took a few minutes to find the right way to say it, but then decided to just be frank. "Jak doesn't need this."

Keira arched her brow, trying to decipher what he meant. "What do mean?" There was no anger in her voice, just confusion. She looked to the ottsel for further explanation.

"Keira, Jaks life in that prison was a hell on earth for two years. The thing they did to him messed him up bad you've seen what I'm talking about."

Keira nodded along showing that she understood. "Daxter that doesn't make what you've been through less important."

"I'm not saying it does. I mean these scars were circumstantial while Jak had what happened forced onto him so we're kinda talking about apples and oranges, but that's not what I'm getting at." She gave another nod and motioned for him to continue. "You guys don't even know the half of what they put him though. The nightmares he's had, the agony it's caused him, and that's not including the whole backstabbing and banishment."

Keira cringed at this "not one of my proudest moments."

If Daxter heard her then she went ignored. "He's just starting to recover and he still blames himself for me being turned into an ottsel-"

This caught her by surprise "wait seriously? But that was, like, five years ago!"

"Believe me I know, but no matter how many times I tell him it wasn't his fault he still won't forgive himself. I've seen the effects of the prison on him and I've seen the burdens place on him by himself and everyone else." He looked Keira dead in the eye, his face completely serious with a hint of pain.

"Think about how you reacted and the emotions you've been feeling this whole time, now imagine if it was Jak."

After a moment of contemplation, Keira looked down in understanding. As much as she wanted to argue she found she couldn't. Daxter was, unfortunately, right.

"Ok yeah I…I see your point. He-he probably wouldn't take it well."

Daxter nodded before bringing his hand up to his face, still looking a bit distressed. "He doesn't need to deal with that along with everything else he…" the ottsel sighted and spoke quietly "he doesn't need that."

Now it all made sense.

"You're trying to protect him."

She received a nod "that was the plan."

It was funny, at the beginning of conversation she'd been ready to chew him out upon reaching this point, but now she was feeling a mix of guilt and sympathy. She found herself really thinking about what she'd learned. She knew Jaks time in the prison was horrible even if she didn't have all the details, and she knew her transition to Haven hadn't exactly been easy, but it never really dawned on her what it must have been like for Daxter.

She'd been able to get a job, earn money, get a place to live, had access to basic necessities. She was human but Daxter…

He was a human in an animal's body. He didn't have those luxuries anymore, when people looked at him during those two years all they'd seen was a stray. She found herself really taking the implications of what he'd told her into consideration.

How often did he struggle to find food? To find shelter or warmth? To avoid the onslaught of violence and fleeting humanity among the citizens?

How often did he struggle just to stay alive for one more day?

She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

But there was one unfortunate truth that crossed her mind she couldn't ignore. "You're going to have to tell him eventually" he looked at her, waiting of her to continue. "Three people have already found out, _by accident_. As bad as he may react it'll be worse if he finds out like I did knowing you never intended to tell him."

Daxter glance down, seeing her point, but she wasn't done. "And the longer you wait the worse it will be." The ottsel bit his lip as he mulled over what she'd said "you know I'm right."

"…I'll cross that bridge if I get there."

"_When_ you get there" she corrected, no room for negotiation in her voice.

"So you won't tell Jak?" He asked hopefully.

"For now no, only because I think you should be the one to do it, but if I think you're taking too long I will."

Daxter gave her a small but genuine smile "deal" and she returned the smile with her own.

As if on cue, Jak came into the room dried off with a towel wrapped around his waist. "Hay Dax you done…" he trailed off when he noticed the state his friends were in "you guys alright?"

It was then Keira was aware that not only were her eyes still damp, but were most likely redden from her earlier tears. Not to mention how drained and exhausted they must have both looked, and how that must have looked to the hero, but before she could think of what to tell him Daxter beat her to it.

"Yeah we're good, Keira was helping me out. It was a painful, stressful, struggle and soap may have gotten into some eyes." Jak didn't look all that convinced but seem to except the excuse and shrugged.

"Alright, I gotta say Keira I'm impressed, Dax never lets me help him clean his fur."

'_Gee I wonder why_' she couldn't help but think sarcastically, rolling her eyes at the ottsel. That certainly explained how he'd been able to hide the scars from Jak.

"This is Kiera Jak, you don't argue with her." This seem to diminish any doubt he had and got a chuckle out of the hero as well.

"Heh true, so you done?"

Daxter gave Jak one of his signature grins "squeaky clean Jaky." Keira stared, mildly surprise by the way Daxter could just smile off any stressful or heart wrenching situation if only for Jak's sake. She couldn't tell if it was impressive or concerning.

For the moment she settled for both.

Nevertheless, she followed his lead and gave Jak a smile. "Yeah, just got some soap in my eyes we're all done here how about you?"

"Pretty sure I got it all out of my hair, so do you think our cloths are done?" Keira blinked in shock; she'd completely forgotten about their cloths. While the two were cleaning up, she'd offered to run Jak's clothes and Daxter's pants and hat through the machines, in the hope of getting them relatively clean. Thankfully she'd put them in the dryer before coming to bring the boys their towels.

In fact, they had most likely been done for a good couple of minutes now. "Oh gosh I forgot all about them! Yeah, yeah they should be done, hopefully all the gunk came out."

"As long as they're clean enough to be seen in public and not piss off Torn that's fine."

"That last one might be a tall order." Both boys chuckled at the ottsels crack, even Kiera gave a small giggle.

"I'll get them for you guys wait here." Brushing herself off, Keira proceeded to make her way to the laundry room.

"So why dose a race track have a washer/dryer? I thought everyone brought their own suits."

"It might be for the employees or the flame retardant suits the racers wear underneath."

"Wait that's a thing?! Then why the hell don't you wear one you stupide ass?!"

Keira smiled and shook her head at her friend's banter, but as soon as she was no longer able to hear them, the smile faded and a crestfallen look replaced it. She wanted to believe that nothing would or had changed after learning what she had, that it would all stay the same.

But she knew that would be a lie.

….

After they'd both had a few days to recover from their talk, Keira called Daxter back so she could examine his scars and ensure they were healing properly. She may not have been a green eco sage like her father, but she was trained enough to act as a decent medic.

To her relief they were healing really well. There was no sign of infection past or present, nor were there any signs of permanent damage beyond the scars itself. Daxter had actually done a pretty good job considering what little he had to work with.

"I may not have been the best student but that doesn't mean I was unteachable" he'd remarked proudly.

Needing to talk to someone about the whole thing that wasn't the ottsel in question, she eventually told Tess that she knew about the scars. As it turned out Tess was just as grateful to have someone to talk with as well, especially since she'd also been trying to convince Daxter to come clean to Jak too. She got the feeling he wasn't going to budge anytime soon.

Keira hadn't stopped trying, but she'd also decided not to press the subject too much either for fear it would just discourage him further. Still, she made it clear that she wasn't letting him off the hook, nor was the threat of telling Jak herself going away.

Although she worried it would all be in vain, that fear was put to rest.

Two months had passed when Keira found herself entering the bar from the employ entrance in the back, having come to drop off some equipment Torn had requested. She didn't always do work for the former guard, but she still tried to contribute as much as possible.

As she placed the delivery on a counter she noticed Tess peeking through the door. Curious, she walked up to the female ottsel and crouched down behind her "what are you-"

"Shhh" Tess quickly turned to her with a finger to her lips before motioning for her to look, Keira's curiosity grew as she moved next to her to see what was so interesting.

Jak and Daxter were the only ones in the bar. They were seated at the counter, well Jak was Daxter was standing on the counter, and they appeared to be in the middle of a conversation. Keira couldn't quite make out what was being said, but she could make out Jaks face.

The hero had a look of combined distress, shock, guilt, and anger. Obviously the discussion was a serious one, perhaps they were discussing a new mission? Seemed the most likely but then she noticed the way Daxter was standing in front of him on the counter, he seemed to be showing Jak something…

…on his side.

That's when it struck her like a bolt of lightning.

That was the side with the scars.

Was he…?

Keira's eyes widened as she gasped silently, was she seeing this right? Maybe she was misreading the situation or being hopefully naïve. She wanted to believe her eyes but how could she be sure?

"Tess" she whispered down at the ottsel, her eyes barely leaving the sight before her to make contact with the blond and ensure she'd been heard. "Is he…? I mean is Daxter actually showing him…?" Tess looked at her with a small smile and nodded. If it was possible the mechanic felt her eyes go wider, she couldn't believe he was finally doing it "wha-what brought this on?"

"I don't have the full story yet" the blonde whispered back with a shrug "but apparently my poor Daxxie got a little ruffed up during their mission." The sad and agitated tone was not lost on Keira as she just now noticed the bandages around Daxter's lower right arm "Torn commented that it'll probably result in a scar just before leaving, they were just sitting there when I came back."

Feeling that she was caught up, Keira gave a quick nod before bringing her full attention back to the duo just as the smaller of the two finished and strained herself to hear.

The two sat there in silence, no doubt the hero was trying to process what he'd just learned, his head now lowered so his face was hidden. Meanwhile his partner simply rubbed his bandaged arm in apprehension "s-so…yeah that's… I-I mean hay don't have to worry bout my arm as much anymore right?" The ottsel chuckled nervously but reserved no reaction, the anxious smile fell from his face. "L-look Jak I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner I just…" he ran a hand over his ears and chewed his lip.

"I was just… I was worried about you. After you got out you were in real bad shape and I didn't want to add to it, but then there was never a good time afterwards what with the whole banishment and end of the world thing, then the race and the poison happened." Daxter sighed looking down in shame. "I got no excuse I know, I just didn't want to add to that growing list of crap, I didn't want to give you one more thing to worry about. I was just trying to spare you more bad news I swear."

His eyes were starting to sting, and try as he might his voice was beginning to crack. "I-I tho-thought I-it'd be bet-better that way, I-I thought it'd b-be better if you di-didn't know…that it'd be e-easier on y-you…I was just trying…"

The stinging was getting worse and his cheeks were getting damp. Precursor sake he couldn't cry! He needed to get a grip! Jak didn't need this!

Daxter lowered his head further and shut his eyes unable to stop the tears from falling, his voice hoarse from the emotion he was desperately trying to hold back.

"Jak…_please_…_ say something_."

"…I'm sorry."

Daxter's tear filled eyes widen. Slowly, he raised his head and looked at his friend in shock. He'd almost hadn't heard the hero's whispered response.

"Wh-what?"

Jak finally lifted his head to look at the ottsel. His eyes were starting to redden from tears that had already begun falling. There was no anger in Jaks face anymore, or shock for that matter, just pain.

Pain and despair.

"I- I'm so sorry Dax" he whispered. "I…" he choked back a sob "three years" a hand came up to cover his eyes.

The ottsel arched a brow, his own tears still falling "h-huh? Jak wh-what are you-"

"All I cared about after you busted me out of that jail was getting revenge!" Jak cried looking at Daxter.

"W-well yeah" Daxter stuttered "but there was also Kor-"

"And after that, all I cared about was being angry about being banished!"

"The world was literally going to end-"

"And after that all I cared about was beating Mizo and winning that stupid race!"

"Jak we were all poisoned."

"Meanwhile your living with all this and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Now it was Daxters turn to interrupted, waving his hands in a desperate attempted to get his friends attention. "Jak those were life and death situations they _needed_ your full attention!"

"Fine! But what about after?!" Jak was starting to sound angry, but it was obviously not with Daxter. "Or even during a quiet moment I- I know next to nothing about what those two years were like for you! All I know is how you got me out and that's just cause Osmo and Ximon came into the bar one day! I never asked you anything about what might have happen to you, what you might have been through! I didn't even give it a second thought! _Not once!_"

Jak buried his face in his hands, quiet sobs escaping. "What kind of friend am I?" he whispered "I'm so sorry Daxter."

Daxter, for once, found himself speechless. Of all the reactions from Jak he'd imagined over the years this…was not one of them.

Of course, he didn't think anything of Jak not asking questions about their time apart, it'd been obvious to him his friend had been through something nightmarish and needed him. Hell, considering how much the ottsel hadn't wanted to talk about it he'd been relived. Then taking into account how they were thrown into one disaster after another, adding more and more to the hero's baggage it just hadn't seemed worth it.

It wasn't worth giving jak one more thing to stress about, adding on to his seemingly never-ending parade of suffering. Like he'd told Keira Jak didn't need that.

But then…

"_Well look on the bright side, it's kinda cool you might get your first scar."_

Jak had gone and said that, an effort to cheer him up after his brush with death.

And that's when he'd realized, sure he was sparing his best friend the trouble, but by withholding the information how was he any different than everyone else who'd used Jak time and again? That was when he'd finally understood what Keira was trying to tell him.

He'd realized that as much as Jak didn't need to know about this.

"…_sixth."_

Jak _deserved_ to know about this.

That didn't make this any easier though, especially since he'd never anticipated this reaction. Regardless of how unexpected the reaction was, almost on instinct Daxter did what he did best.

Moving slowly, as he was still somewhat in a daze, Daxter silently placed his hand on Jaks arm. He hadn't expected this reaction, but that didn't mean he didn't know how to try and make it better.

Because if there was one thing Daxter knew he was good at, it was comforting Jak.

"Don't do this Jak" he said softly "this is exactly why I didn't say anything before, I didn't want you putting one more burden on your shoulder and I sure as hell didn't want to be the one to give you that burden."

Jak looked at him, tears streaming down his face.

"The world placed enough on your shoulders, _you_ placed enough on your shoulders. I thought if I could spare you even a bit of crap then I would. I get it, I do, and if it doesn't bother me then it sure as hell shouldn't bother you. I don't want you to give it a second thought."

The ottsel rested his head against his friends arm. One would think finally telling Jak all this would be a huge relief, but all he felt was tired.

He just wanted Jak to have a break for once.

"Dax…I-"

"Jak please its fine." He closed his eyes "really I'm fine, I'm not upset and if I'm not upset then you have no reason to be guilty and nothing to apologies for, just believe me and let this go."

Daxter patted his arm "I hereby give you permission not to feel bad about this, no if, ands, or buts."

Jak wanted to argue, convince Daxter that no he should feel bad, at least a little, but Daxter looked so drained he didn't want to cause him anymore grief. Besides maybe he was right, if Daxter wasn't bothered then maybe he shouldn't be.

It was a selfish thought as far as Jak was concerned, but…maybe he could be a little selfish just this once?

For now at least, Jak would let it go.

With a shaky sigh, Jak placed his hand on his best friends back, rubbing it gently just as Daxter had done for him too many times. "I still wish I could've been there when you needed me" he mumbled.

"That's fair, I wish I could've been there when you needed me."

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that, and I'm sorry you had to endure it alone."

"Same."

"…I'm sorry those two years ever happened."

Daxter gave Jak a smile. "Now that apology I will accept."

After that, the two friends didn't say anything more on the subject, for now at least. They just did what little they could to bring the other comfort.

Still hiding behind the door, the girls continued to watch them. Tess had a sad smile, she was glad they'd finally had this conversation but the end result was still a bitter pill. Keira had a similar look as she watched her old friends, the two boys she'd known since she was three, entangled in what she could best describe as a paradox.

They were comforting each other while destroying themselves, whether they meant to or not.

They were trying to move on from memories of a cruel chapter of their lives while drowning in them.

They were desperately trying to heal wounds that refused to close.

They were the only thing holding each other together when they were already broken.

…Why though?

Why should this weight be on their shoulders alone?

When they'd first come back into her life, she'd been…less then supportive. She'd passed judgment on Jak, only focusing on what she'd heard and how different he now was. It took him getting banished before she really heard his side never mind considered it, and she'd done everything in her power to make it up to him during the Kras city races.

Then there was Daxter. Just like Jak said, she'd never even gave his time spent alone a second thought, it wasn't that she hadn't cared he just seemed so…unfazed. He was no different than the last time she'd seen him, he had still been the same silly, overdramatic, hyper self.

What reason would she have to assume anything eventful happened to him?

And what reason did she have to assume nothing had happened to him?

Honestly, Keira had pretty much drooped the ball in every way.

Now though, things could be different, _were_ different.

She understood and accepted _they_ were different now.

_She _was different now.

Keira slowly got from where she'd been crouched. Tess looked at her confused for a moment, but then offered an encouraging smile. Keira smiled back and, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves and calm her emotions, she made her way out the door.

She wouldn't let them carry these burdens alone anymore, she would do what she could to help lesson them.

This time around Keira would be there for her friends.

Both her friends.

….

I had actually started this _before_ "china doll" and _had_ meant for this to be my first fic… but obviously that didn't happen. Still, I think this came out okay. I do hope you liked it. Till next time…whenever that is.


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